Not quite good enough…

I have struggled a lot lately with this topic.  Most of my post deal with the past… and this one does too, in a way.  From the days I was in elementary school, I always loved playing sports.  I wasn’t very good at any of them but I always loved the competition and camaraderie that participating brought.  Some times people would tell me I was good at things.  But I never finished first at any thing… always finishing close, but never winning.

The same thing held true for academics.  I always did pretty good at school… good, but not quite good enough to be included as a member of the Honor Society or to be considered one of the smart kids.  I use to sing in a choir or two as I was growing up (yeah, there are some stories coming about that too) and I was told that I had a good voice… but never good enough to sing a solo or anything like that.

And so I spent my life growing up being good at a lot.. but with the constant reminder of never being… quite good enough.  Recently all of this has come to the surface again.  I am being reminded constantly that I am good at lots of aspects of my life… but not good enough for that dream job or other things that I want in my life.  The weight of not being good enough can be crushing.

We in the United States in particular have become so obsessed with winning… with being number one.  No one remembers anyone that finishes second.  You either win or you might as well just fold the tents and go away.   Is this really the way life should work?  I surely hope not.

But I do know this to be true… if you don’t try, you will never know if you are good enough or not.  And shouldn’t we be just as impressed with the effort to be in the game as we are with the eventual winner?  I don’t have any answers or words of wisdom here…

I just know that I hate this feeling and I want it to go away… and I want to be able to just be happy with who I am and doing what I am doing… So I get up in the morning… see the sun come up again and face another day, working hard… praying that today is the day that I feel that I am… actually good enough.

Living Life on the Narrows can be challenging some days.  Come on, friends… let’s get going… maybe this is THE day we have been preparing for our whole lives!!  Remember… physically strong, mentally tough, emotionally secure, spiritually grounded!!!  Let’s get after it!!



Filed under Thoughts

3 responses to “Not quite good enough…

  1. Mary M.

    I can relate…never quite good enough,,,feeling as if your performance, be it professional or personal is not up to expectation. It can be crushing if I allow it but, I try to remember; I do the best I can with what I have to work with; I suit up and show up,keep putting one foot in front of the other and hold on to the belief I am a worthy human being.I am loved and loveable…that makes every day easier to face…

  2. I’m older now (50 on Thursday) so I don’t feel the need to have to compete with others any more: I’m happily married; I have two great kids; I have a cool job. Life is good most days. But, there are times when I feel “not quite good enough”, when I compare myself with that person I wish I were. On those days, I have to stop and remind myself that the “perfect me” doesn’t really exist and never will. Mary has reminded me to give myself credit for “suiting up” and “showing up”. So I will. Thanks, Mary!

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