Blessings revisited

She had beautiful shoulder length auburn colored hair… and a face full of freckles.  But the thing I noticed first about her was an incredible smile that just seemed to draw me in.  I have searched my memory for years trying to remember the first time I ever saw her but I just can’t seem to shake the shadows off those memories.  Regardless of when the acquaintance occurred, we hit it off from the very beginning.  Part of it may have been a similar sense of humor or maybe it was a shared last name but regardless, we began hanging around each other occasionally. 

As the school years advanced, we would take advantage of that shared last name and started telling everyone we were actually twins.  While I didn’t have red hair I was fair skinned and it was something that seemed like it could be true… although people who knew us well, new it was a lie.  We laughed and joked about our parents and how each other were always “mom’s favorite”.

Once we got to high school, the classes we were taking were very different so we didn’t see each other very often.  As a matter of fact, I became so distracted by sports… and other girls, that we lost touch.  I would occasionally see her in the hall and we would speak as we past but that was it.  I became so distracted with my other aspects of my life I didn’t even notice that she quit school.

So I graduate from high school, go off to college… and find out that life is a bit more complicated than what the plans for weekend will be… I am struggling with life to the point that I am ready to throw in the towel… time to head back home and just forget it all. 

I’m at home on a break, really searching what I should do when my mom tells me I have a call.  I pick up the phone there is the voice I haven’t heard in years!  My long lost sister from another mother was just calling to touch base.  She had me on her mind and just wanted to catch up.  After chatting for a few minutes, we decided we would get together for lunch and really catch up. 

She gives me directions to her house.  This is some place I had never been before which I find hard to believe.  I didn’t think there was any road in Pasquotank county that I hadn’t driven down when I was in high school but this was a small housing development out in the country I had never seen before in my life.  Her older sister met me at the door as I approached.  I guess it was unusual to have people show up out there.  The first thing I noticed when she came in the room was that she had cut her hair off.  It was very short but that beautiful smile was so familiar to me. It just warmed my heart to see her.

As we head out to get in the car to go get some lunch I notice some embroidery on her jeans.  I can’t make it out at first but then I recognize it.  In cursive writing was “Jesus loves me, this I know.”  I thought that was a bit strange as she had never seems to be that religious to me.  I wanted to ask her about it but I decided I would just let it go for now since we hadn’t talked in years and that seemed to be a little too deep for a reconnection lunch.

So we eat lunch, we catch up on this and that… dropping names of classmates and what we knew about them while I did everything I could to avoid talking about the real struggles in my life.  She seemed to be doing well and it was a great visit. I sitting there wondering why did we let ourselves get disconnected and that we shouldn’t let that happen again.

As we got back to her house and I walked her up to the door at her house we talked about doing a better job of staying in touch… the kinds of things we always seem to say and rarely do.  As I was about to walk away, she looked me right in the eye and said; “Walter, I know life is difficult and confusing for you right now but don’t worry.  Everything is going to be fine.  Life is going to work out just fine.”  That seemed a bit strange since we hadn’t discussed life at all but it sure felt comforting to hear her say it.  I felt a calm come over me and I just smiled at her and agreed.  Yes, it was going to be just fine. A few months later I am talking with my mom and she asked me if I remembered this particular girl from school.  Of course I said yes and was wondering why she would ask.  Mom said; “She died today.  She had been fighting cancer for the last year or so.”  That lunch and the conversation and the closing couple of sentences have replayed in my memory over and over during the ensuing years.  Our relationship was so brief in the grand scheme of a lifetime but continues to be a blessing in my life.